High-end Shopper Gifts

It bag and no knickers!

Worshipping at the shrine of posh

'Now what to get with your compensation money-fur coat,diamond ring,Prada shoes...'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Customer Convention

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."