High-end Tourist Gifts

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"First class, or with children?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

The Desert Island Package

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

"You can enhance your experience in first class by signing up to get live updates of how miserable everyone in coach is."

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

It bag and no knickers!

Commuter on the Orient Express

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'You're talking three million, ballpark

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

'Travel agency - Ego trips our specialty'

Private Jet

'The jacuzzi, the workshop and the wine cellar is standard, but the swimming pool, the grill patio and the media room is optional!'. (Selling an oversize SUV).

Rich man getting ride on servant's skis.

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

Elephant Upgrade

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.

Private Jet

"We'll begin boarding our first-class passengers after a ten-minute pause in honor of the even wealthier people who fly in private jets."

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

"And we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of Champagne to those single gentlement with incomes over $250000 pa who leave us their telephone numbers."