Luxury Traveler Gifts

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

'It's the biggest RV on the market. It comes with a swimming pool, 9-hole golf course and four bedrooms.'

"As for immigration, I say admit anyone who arrives on the Concorde."

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Commuter on the Orient Express

Private Jet

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

'He's out of the office this week, visiting his money in an offshore tax haven.'

"Also included in the package is a vague sense of your not being good enough to stay here."

"This is our most popular model for first time RV-ers."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

"We sold our two-bedroom village at a great price and bought the Virgin Islands."

Private Jet

Space tourism.

'Somewhere where the mosquitos bite only the working classes.'

'Would you like a 'turn down' service?' - 'I don't know... I already get turned down quite a lot.' - 'No, no... we go into your room while you're out and fold over the corner of your duvet.' - 'That sounds mildly disturbing.' - 'Look, let me make this...'

Noah directs animals aboard the ark featuring first class and tourist sections.

Off to Glyndebourne

"We strongly advise you to stay away from 4th and 5th class..."

Woman having tea in a train carriage

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

The suite hereafter.

"Have ever been on this cruise?"

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

"Business class, sir?"

"I didn't realise that your idea of glamping was to have the tent right next to the shower block."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"First class, or with children?"

High flyer

"If you pay enough, they'll let you swim with whatever animal you want."

Southern Europe Wildfires