Luxurious Vacationer Gifts

'And the shower stall has to be this wide.'

'The Tropics Resort gives you a choice, Madam, geckos or big, hairy spiders...'

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

The Desert Island Package

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"You can enhance your experience in first class by signing up to get live updates of how miserable everyone in coach is."

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

Overdoing it.

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Scene on the English coast.

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Oh, boy. Comfort food."

Commuter on the Orient Express

Seaside

"What's the best ailment I could claim to convince my husband that I need a luxury cruise?"

Summer Sketches - A Sea Lion

Big RV Camping

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

Room service.

1930's bather.

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed that you aren't constantly eating."

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

Private Jet