Shell Aficionado T-Shirts

A turtle takes a bath.

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

"I don't do windows."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"Fow sounds of the Atlantic ocean press 1, for the Pacific ocean press 2..."

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

"Little Jamie would like you both to know that he's now into sharks."

"That's his answer to everything!"

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

Sheds

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."

1930's bather.

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

"So many acquisitions lately ... should we be worried?"

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

"Curling up with a good book is one thing, but now you're taking a shelfie?"

"I've been evicted."

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'Man eater?! No way, it was just a nibble!'

"Shelling doesn't get much better than this, Helen."

Shark Surfing the Waves.

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

"I never should have eaten that third license plate."

'I'll have the surfer on a board, lightly sauteed.'