Shell Aficionados T-Shirts

All right! I think it's time to take the training shells off, son.

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"I don't do windows."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Fow sounds of the Atlantic ocean press 1, for the Pacific ocean press 2..."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Tortoise polishing his shell

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"That's his answer to everything!"

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

"Travellin' through?"

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

1930's bather.

"I've been evicted."

"Shelling doesn't get much better than this, Helen."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

It's so cute when she dresses up in your old shells.

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

I can't decide if this is a self-improvement project or a home improvement project.

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

'They're like saltines - leave 'em in the water too long, they get mushy.'

'I wouldn't describe myself as a troubleshooter. I'm more a trouble-eater.'

Envy in the Animal Kingdom

'Say 'one' to hear the sound of the ocean, say 'two' to hear. . .'

Man listens to shell by the ocean and hears options to download ocean sounds from an online store.

"If you knew what you looked like in there, you wouldn't be so happy."

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Deli/Antiques: Got Shrimp? Got Gout?

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

Wait - Is that the old shell you wore on our wedding day?

'Nice penthouse.'

Tortoise Mobile Home Sale.