Shell Shine Aficionado T-Shirts

Tortoise polishing his shell

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

"I don't do windows."

"Fow sounds of the Atlantic ocean press 1, for the Pacific ocean press 2..."

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"That's his answer to everything!"

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

Bald man polishing head

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

"Shelling doesn't get much better than this, Helen."

"I've been evicted."

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

'Say 'one' to hear the sound of the ocean, say 'two' to hear. . .'

Envy in the Animal Kingdom

Deli/Antiques: Got Shrimp? Got Gout?

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

'Nice penthouse.'

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

A turtle takes a bath.

'Business must be good.'

"The tide is out at the moment so here is some music while you are waiting..."

"We will return to the soothing sounds of the sea in a moment..."

'OK Headmaster, now polish the other shoe...'

Hmm... p'haps it wasn't such a good idea to hang those pictures up...

Middle finger from a shell.

"No seriously, I can't sleep on my back: I could die if nobody were there to turn me back upright..."

'I can't wait for the 2012 'Limpets' to begin...!'

Tortoise at mobile home sale.

"Of course, we just call them 'necks'"