Sheet Stylist Gifts

'Oh. Did I startle you!?'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Bad hair day!

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

Shoe addict.

"I don't like your application."

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

Vivienne Westwood

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

Dolores is so avant garde.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

"What comes after zillion?"

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Casual Thursday

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...