Sheet Strategist Gifts

"We'll never have to fold fitted sheets again."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"I hate performance review season."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"What comes after zillion?"

Internet Cafe.

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Project Manager Showdown

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'I would like to return this chart. It didn't perform up to our expectations.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

'Wish you would've warned me about this. I hate getting ambushed.'

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

'I think we should budget on the number of budgets we draw up'

'And this I take it is the bookkeeping department.'

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

'Does this pen come in another font?

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

"They say you're a miracle worker, so I'm wondering if you could part my sea of red ink?"

NFL's 50 Most Masterful Uses of the Clock

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

Try to think of bankruptcy as an accounting procedure.

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

"The Toast Whisperer"