Spreadsheet Warriors Gifts

"Great job, Johnson! The budget changed last month. We need you to redo the whole thing."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

Overworked in the office

"I hate performance review season."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"I love your optimism."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"What comes after zillion?"

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Project Manager Showdown

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

Tax Collector

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'First the good news.'