Spreadsheet Warrior Gifts

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Top brass want us to be more disciplined about how we handle money...how much have we got left?' - 'About two and a half draws full!'

'In the future, Clayton, always make sure you have your decimal points correctly placed.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

End of Year Figs.

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

Cut out and keep your own Accountant!

"Are you sure you put up a fight to save the account?"

"Until we figure out what went wrong with the numbers last quarter, I'll have to let the 9 of you go."

"I don't think we need to panic, but a little pants wetting anxiety might be in order."

"Before I get into how much more money I've lost in accounting errors, how many zeros are in a billion?"

"Sure, it seems glamorous, but nobody talks about the physical beating a number cruncher takes."

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'There are three kinds of accountants. Those who can count and those who can't.'

CPA wrestling tax reforms.

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

Trouble! The chief accountant is phoning in his report - long distance!

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Overworked in the office

"I hate performance review season."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph