Spreadsheet Hero Gifts

Accountant with Meter

"For God's sake, go back and finish month end close first."

'Now, now doctor. This won't hurt a bit.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Overworked in the office

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"What comes after zillion?"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.