Sheet Sports Athlete Gifts

The Fitted Sheet - Henri Matisse

Overworked in the office

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'First the good news.'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

'In case the guys organize a game.'

'This is a very bad report, Jenkins. Go to your cubicle.'

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"

"I have been inputting garbage into my systems for 12 months, why is this spend analysis GARBAGE?!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'And this I take it is the bookkeeping department.'

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"We'll never have to fold fitted sheets again."

Precussionist

Boy holding football.

'That should discourage my imitators.'

Musical washing

Yoga Classes. I could actually feel the stress leaving my body! I think it entered mine!

"I need backup on 'D' Wing — they've built another den!"

A pair of yoga instructors use beds of nails on the beach.

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."