Shaving Survivor Club Gifts

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Nervous Oral Testing

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"I'm here for the hair."

Drunk Barber

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

My Life in Beards.

"The chairman said he wanted to see you when you got out of hospital."

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

Boy recommending a shaving soap to an older man

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

Axes 'R' Us Store

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"Give yourself a little cut darling. He wants a chance to patch you up."

"You need a haircut and a shave."

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

Accident with razor blades.

Razor Salesman

An evolutionary turning point.

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

"I think I'm getting road rage."

'Dear? I put a nice new blade in that old razor of yours, did you notice?'

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature

'Before he grew his beard, Kris Kringle was know as St 'Nick', patron saint of people who cut themselves shaving.'

The day the sun went RED GIANT: 'Warm enough for ya?'

Man with stubble that reads: 'Shave me.'

Barber of Seville kit

How Cartoon Characters Shave. (Frank applies White Out to his whiskers.)

"We found you and raised you as one of us, so we were just wondering, at what point did you learn to shave?"

'It's great, securing Paralympic sponsorship from a shaving company to promote their new five bladed razor...'