Salon Survivor Gifts

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

"Well. It was looking good until that last hot flash."

The adoration of the gels.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"It's from an American company that wants to do some outsourcing!"

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

Judge getting hair done.

GURLERS

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

"So what's your success rate?"

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

Where Mom used to take you.

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

Your hats off! Salon now open

God's Manicure.

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"He spoils them."

Medusa gets a trim.

Dye now, pay later!

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'