Shark Skeptics Gifts

"I'm done with experiences. Next year just get me a thing."

The Food Chain

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

"What on earth were you thinking when you named your boat?"

'I say we let the poor thing on the boat. The poor creature has been a performing shark his whole life, he won't survive a day out here in the wild.'

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

"He made millions and we got a bad rap. Why has no one eaten Spielberg?"

"Our surveillance indicates that Earthlings have a fear of right-angled triangles."

Evolution...the decoy shark.

'Yeah, Pilot-Fish is a great job, but you tend to see some gruesome stuff during feeding frenzies...'

Shark

'Jack, if you're taking pictures, I'll stay submerged! You know we always look bigger out of water.'

'Well, we saved this attorney...some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin.'

Two sharks are following some 'carrot fish' - 'I don't care if they're good for my eyesight... I'm not eating a carrot fish!'

"Excuse me, but where exactly are we being led?"

Show down between woman and weighing machine.

"I thought we had agreed, no lawyers!"

Free-range Legs.

"Just swimming along with a song in my heart!"

Annoying things about the beach.

Shark

'Wow! I thought that Charlie was just horsing around.'

The Final Backstroke

"O.K., Wordle has gotten harder."

'Ok, ok, see that right there is what I mean. See that zig-zag pattern? That's why they all think you're gay.'

"Rex, Rex, put your glasses on! Don't sniff that bottom, it's not another dog: it's a skunk!"

"Which do you believe more accurately describes the real you, … your 'Greatness' or your 'Whiteness'?"

"I told you the white shark was great!"

'What is he fishing for?'

'He doesn't use drinking fountains. He can't swim.'