Shark Scare Tactician Gifts

It's a little unorthodox, but I have yet to be attacked by a shark!

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"Like I know, dude...but this wave is so awesome!"

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

"No, I'm scarier."

'I say we let the poor thing on the boat. The poor creature has been a performing shark his whole life, he won't survive a day out here in the wild.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"But the travel agent said the beach was safe. Did you go into the water?"

"Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you just set your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket."

'Well, we saved this attorney...some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin.'

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'

'Hey! Not fair!'

'Hey, bartender! This scotch is watered down!'

Fishing

A competent legal adviser can always be helpful.

'I said no more surfer snacks before the feeding frenzy!'

Money in mousetrap

'I've been on a lot of survival training courses, but this is a tough one.'

'Will you PLEASE stop saying, 'could be worse.''

'Heh, heh - So how does it feel to be the victim for a change?'

'Hey, I was just leaving.'

"I'm done with experiences. Next year just get me a thing."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Brian couldn't help feeling that Feeding Frenzies weren't what they used to be.

'Ask the expert in marine biology. 'Harmless basking shark,' my foot.'

'Be careful out there. Sharks often times mistake us for surfers.'