Shark Enthusiast Chuckles Gifts

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

Beach con-man.

Bite out of fishing pier.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Leak in the fish tank.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

Sand danger

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

Ice Fishing

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

Shark food pyramid.

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'Miss Wislson please bring me my spear gun.'

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Relax, I think it just wants the chum pizza.'

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."