Shanty Singer Gifts

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Drunken singers in a public house

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

"He spent the last half hour trying to piratesplain sea shanties to me."

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

Capitalists Courageous

Sandwich Shop

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

Singing is everyone's shower rights.

'I REALLY disapprove of our mandatory retirement plan! '

"If that book is gonna deposit hundreds of grains of sand into our bed later tonight, it better be damn juicy."

“Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs.”

With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

"If you're going to sing, get some lessons...you're flat."

"New Yorkie...New Yorkie..."

'All this pirate radio station plays is Ho, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Rum.'

'Hello,'Professionally Written Protest Chants'! What do you want?' 'Something short and catchy.' 'When do you want it?' 'NOW!'

'But the coconut song is all I know!'

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

Desert crawler sees 'No Crawling' sign.

"For what it's worth, 'Yo-ho-ho and chilled Pinot Grigio' actually rhymes."

The quest for spinsterhood.

'It needs more soul.'

The Singing Financial Reporter

"Oh my god - it's Captain Rehab!"

"When it comes to safe boating, a little yo-ho-hoing is okay - but not a bottle of rum!"