Shameless Nudist Gifts

'Am I next?'

"Privates Beach"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"I've got pride but no shame."

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'I've never done this before.'

Man at Nudist beach, watches a naked Punch & Judy show.

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

Success often means distracting the competition.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'Do Not Feed The Bares'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

If you find me an intimidating boss, try picturing me clothed.

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

'This is an ideal place - you're always saying you have nothing to wear.'

George was proving to be very popular with the ladies after taking-up nude pole vaulting!

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

"Why yes. My husband does work in the construction industry! How on earth did you guess?"

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"I put the price up after the local council decided to make it a nudist beach."

Au Naturel Restaurant

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."