Nudist Beach-goer Gifts

"Don't men look hideous without their wallets?

"Privates Beach"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

"I've got pride but no shame."

Success often means distracting the competition.

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

Man at Nudist beach, watches a naked Punch & Judy show.

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

'Before I agree to marry you, I want to see what you look like with clothes on!'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'Do Not Feed The Bares'

Geek Beach

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

If you find me an intimidating boss, try picturing me clothed.

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."

'Mr Barnet a word please in my office now.'

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"I put the price up after the local council decided to make it a nudist beach."

'How did you...never mind...ring the doorbell?'

'This is an ideal place - you're always saying you have nothing to wear.'

World's sma.... llest beach

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'