Nudist Beach Explorer Gifts

'Yes,I know this isn't a nudist beach but my luggage is still at Heathrow!'

'How was I meant to know it was only for men?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Man at Nudist beach, watches a naked Punch & Judy show.

Success often means distracting the competition.

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

If you find me an intimidating boss, try picturing me clothed.

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

"Did you know the first nudist resort opened in Germany in 1903 in Dresden?"

'Why do you always insist on a NATURIST holiday?'

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"Looks like Fred's headed to that clothing optional beach again."

George was proving to be very popular with the ladies after taking-up nude pole vaulting!

'How did you...never mind...ring the doorbell?'

'This is an ideal place - you're always saying you have nothing to wear.'

"I put the price up after the local council decided to make it a nudist beach."

'Mr Barnet a word please in my office now.'

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

'I know you're retired now, Walter, but I still think you should put on some clothes.'

Au Naturel Restaurant

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."

"It won't be much of a holiday for me, did you forget I'm a stripper?"

'Oh please Just who does Jerry think he's kidding with that censor strip'

"Knock knock, are you decent?"