Artful Nudist Gifts

"Relax, I'm a professional. I went to school for this."

"Privates Beach"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'Ahh, mannn! I thought you said this was a NUDE beach!' Two guys overlooking a clothed beach hoping it wasn't

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

'Oh I'm keeping abreast of it.'

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

"I've got pride but no shame."

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

'I've never done this before.'

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

"I think what I like most is they haven't got any clothes on."

Naked Man and His Trusty Sidekick Black Bar Boy.

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

Success often means distracting the competition.

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

Death model.

'I didn't spend all that money on a suntan for nothing.'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

'Why can't you collect stamps like everybody else'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

Drawing.

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'