Nude Art Aficionado Gifts

"My exact words were 'may I paint you in the nude.'"

'Stop that, Harold'

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

In the art gallery

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

'Oh I'm keeping abreast of it.'

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

'No luggage.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

"Let's go in here. Word has it that his cave drawings are nothing but nudes."

"I've been posing for half an hour. Shouldn't you be painting by now?"

'Before I agree to marry you, I want to see what you look like with clothes on!'

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"I think what I like most is they haven't got any clothes on."

Success often means distracting the competition.

Naked Man and His Trusty Sidekick Black Bar Boy.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'How's it coming along Monsieur Lautrec?'

'I really admire his work.'