Nude Art Aficionado Gifts

"My exact words were 'may I paint you in the nude.'"

'Stop that, Harold'

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

In the art gallery

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

'Oh I'm keeping abreast of it.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'No luggage.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

"Let's go in here. Word has it that his cave drawings are nothing but nudes."

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

'Before I agree to marry you, I want to see what you look like with clothes on!'

Naked Man and His Trusty Sidekick Black Bar Boy.

Success often means distracting the competition.

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

"I think what I like most is they haven't got any clothes on."

"I've been posing for half an hour. Shouldn't you be painting by now?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'Not in front of the neighbours, Dear!'

'You're supposed to draw something.'

'Did you know your fly was open?'