Shameless Nudist Pillows

'Am I next?'

"Privates Beach"

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"I've got pride but no shame."

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'I've never done this before.'

Man at Nudist beach, watches a naked Punch & Judy show.

Success often means distracting the competition.

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

'You pluck one more feather and I'm going to stay with mother.'

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

'Do Not Feed The Bares'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

If you find me an intimidating boss, try picturing me clothed.

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

'Why do you always insist on a NATURIST holiday?'

'This is an ideal place - you're always saying you have nothing to wear.'

'Yes,I know this isn't a nudist beach but my luggage is still at Heathrow!'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

George was proving to be very popular with the ladies after taking-up nude pole vaulting!

"Did you know the first nudist resort opened in Germany in 1903 in Dresden?"

Au Naturel Restaurant

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."