Shakespearean Skeptic Gifts

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

Schrodinger's Black Box

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'Hard to follow...'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Some Hamlet-based puns

Situation Tragedy.

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

Disraeli Hopes for Church Backing against Irish Disestablishment

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"O Romeo, Romeo. Lurking outside my balcony is super creepy, Romeo."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

William Shakespeare

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"You know, the yoozh. A little toil, a little trouble."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

If Shakespeare were alive today

Shakespearean Actor

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

"I'm so nervous – my cat is here to see the play."

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

"Not on my watch..."

"He's the guy I'm interested in. He's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in."