Shakespearean Skeptic Gifts

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

Schrodinger's Black Box

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Hard to follow...'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Some Hamlet-based puns

Situation Tragedy.

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

Disraeli Hopes for Church Backing against Irish Disestablishment

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"O Romeo, Romeo. Lurking outside my balcony is super creepy, Romeo."

"You know, the yoozh. A little toil, a little trouble."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

William Shakespeare

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

Shakespearean Actor

"And you're telling me this because?"

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

If Shakespeare were alive today

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

"I'm so nervous – my cat is here to see the play."

"Not on my watch..."

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'