Shakespeare Skeptic Gifts

'Shakespeare is my favorite author I've never read!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Some Hamlet-based puns

Situation Tragedy.

"Young Montague's full of himself."

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

Disraeli Hopes for Church Backing against Irish Disestablishment

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

Poetry Buff.

"O Romeo, Romeo. Lurking outside my balcony is super creepy, Romeo."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"You know, the yoozh. A little toil, a little trouble."

Silvi-Culture.

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

William Shakespeare

'Friends, Romans, countrymen, take back your ears. We have a surplus.'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

If Shakespeare were alive today

Shakespearean Actor

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."