Shakespeare Skeptic Gifts

'Shakespeare is my favorite author I've never read!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Some Hamlet-based puns

Situation Tragedy.

"Young Montague's full of himself."

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

Disraeli Hopes for Church Backing against Irish Disestablishment

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

Poetry Buff.

"O Romeo, Romeo. Lurking outside my balcony is super creepy, Romeo."

'Friends, Romans, countrymen, take back your ears. We have a surplus.'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

Silvi-Culture.

"You know, the yoozh. A little toil, a little trouble."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Yorick, you dolt! Alas, poor Yorick!"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

William Shakespeare

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

"And you're telling me this because?"

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Shakespearean Actor

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."