Service Industry Humor Fan Gifts

'Cold enough now?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Let me take that for you."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Waiter!"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'A table near a waiter please.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Use Next Window.

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

'I never get tipped!'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

A midwife and a waiter pass through a set of double doors.

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

We've got to order more uniforms!

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

The poop scooper maid.

'Would you care for a drink while you're being ignored?'