Service Industry Humor Fan Prints

'Cold enough now?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Waiter!"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

Use Next Window.

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'A table near a waiter please.'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

'I never get tipped!'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

A midwife and a waiter pass through a set of double doors.

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

We've got to order more uniforms!

'Would you care for a drink while you're being ignored?'

The poop scooper maid.

"We'd like to substitute you for a waiter who'll write down our order."