Service Humor Aficionado Gifts

24 Hour Customer Service: "We cannot offer you customer service - it's been well over 24 hours since you opened your account with us."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"Waiter!"

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

Use Next Window.

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'A table near a waiter please.'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

"I hope they offer same day service."

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'