Service Humor Aficionado Gifts

24 Hour Customer Service: "We cannot offer you customer service - it's been well over 24 hours since you opened your account with us."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Let me take that for you."

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

"Waiter!"

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

Use Next Window.

'A table near a waiter please.'

"I hope they offer same day service."

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."