Humor In Service Gifts

The poop scooper maid.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Let me take that for you."

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"Waiter!"

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

"Briggs is running our stress at work assessment."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

Multitasking.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

Use Next Window.

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

"I hope they offer same day service."

'A table near a waiter please.'

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

An accident waiting to happen.

I think this restaurant may have too many employees. Yes, I would like you to send over the menu steward.

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."