Service Scene Humorist Gifts

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

"It's my helper trout!"

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Waiter!"

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

Use Next Window.

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"I hope they offer same day service."

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

'A table near a waiter please.'

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

'With just a soupçon of argon.'