Humor In Service Pillows

The poop scooper maid.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"Waiter!"

"Briggs is running our stress at work assessment."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

Multitasking.

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

Use Next Window.

"I hope they offer same day service."

'A table near a waiter please.'

An accident waiting to happen.

Waiter watering down wine

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."