Service Satire Pillows

An accident waiting to happen.

Waiter watering down wine

Worm complaints desk

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

Slow/Fast Food.

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"It's my helper trout!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

Imagine there's no office...

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'He started on the production line and has worked his way up!'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

And you, Warren... you are now a vice president in charge of thinking up new titles for our never ending supply of vice presidents.

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

Use Next Window.

Tedium