Service Animal Satirist Gifts

"It's my helper trout!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

No jay walking.

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'Cat job interviews.'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Cat and mouse.

"I don't think we can keep our love a secret for much longer dear"

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.