Self-importance Humorer Pillows

A penguin keeps a globe upside-down.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

"I was just talking to Charlie Rose in my head."

Dizzy Spider

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

Narcissus

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

'I realize you're the boss, but if you continue to terminate the employees, they'll be none left.'

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

Still fits like a glove after all these years!

'Enjoying a little 'me time', Narcissus?'

A woman surrounded by drama masks admires herself in the mirror.

Wait your turn. I was here first.

'Nurse Ryder when was the last time you actually spoke to Mr. Wilson.'

"Hi honey, how'd the mammogram go?"

"Underneath all that,lies a perfect 38"22"36"!!"

'I can feel a hundred eyes drilling into my bald spot.'

'Oh, I have a very important job. I'm in charge of synchronizing all of the television commercials.'

'Frankly, I've never left the country because of my lousy passport photo.'

'Breast implant clinic - No job to small'

'I'm sorry. we don't do face transplants for general ugliness.'

Narcissism...Self Inflicted Love Bites.

T-Shirt Reads 'I'm With Me'

'It's all about image, my friend, it's all about image...'

'It says it's the inner value that count. Unfortunately for you it's true.'

"Oh, just picking up the pieces of my life after a really traumatic haircut."

R. B. Dudley: Nobody special but rich enough to build this monument of himself.