Self-importance Humorer Gifts

A penguin keeps a globe upside-down.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

Dizzy Spider

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"I was just talking to Charlie Rose in my head."

Narcissus

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

'I realize you're the boss, but if you continue to terminate the employees, they'll be none left.'

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

Still fits like a glove after all these years!

'Enjoying a little 'me time', Narcissus?'

Wait your turn. I was here first.

A woman surrounded by drama masks admires herself in the mirror.

You should have got the hint when we denied your friend request.

'Nurse Ryder when was the last time you actually spoke to Mr. Wilson.'

"Hi honey, how'd the mammogram go?"

'I'm sorry. we don't do face transplants for general ugliness.'

"Underneath all that,lies a perfect 38"22"36"!!"

Narcissism...Self Inflicted Love Bites.

'Frankly, I've never left the country because of my lousy passport photo.'

'I can feel a hundred eyes drilling into my bald spot.'

'Breast implant clinic - No job to small'

'Oh, I have a very important job. I'm in charge of synchronizing all of the television commercials.'

'It's all about image, my friend, it's all about image...'

'It says it's the inner value that count. Unfortunately for you it's true.'

T-Shirt Reads 'I'm With Me'

R. B. Dudley: Nobody special but rich enough to build this monument of himself.