Self-help Star Gifts

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

"The goal is to hate yourself."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"You left your demons here last week."

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Are you OK hun?"

How to win friends and Influenza People.

'You must heal yourself.'

"My pets found out they were adopted."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

'The Lemming Book Store'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'