Self-help Star Pillows

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"You left your demons here last week."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

"The goal is to hate yourself."

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Are you OK hun?"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'You must heal yourself.'

"My pets found out they were adopted."

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'The Lemming Book Store'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."