Self-help Lover Pillows

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"My pets found out they were adopted."

'You must heal yourself.'

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

'The Lemming Book Store'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

DNA Analysis.

"I think I can". (train)

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."