Self-help Author Gifts

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Wise man reading book called 'One liners for people looking for the meaning of life.'

Dr. Phil cranks it up a notch.

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"Just remember, it's O.K. to be guilty, but it's not O.K. to feel guilty."

'What have you got on how to apply for Government handouts?'

SELF-FULFILLMENT SEMINAR: 'Stop letting people walk on you'

Man reading book entitled 'How to write a self help book.'

"You'll find the book 'Corporate Discipline In Three Easy Steps" in the fiction department."

'The Lemming Book Store'

A day in the life of Fred Billings, Attack Optimist!

How to get ahead and how to get further ahead.

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

Finance Sector: Art of Rain Making.

Even people who write self-help books can get writer's block.

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

"I suggest we ignore him - he's just another identity workshop victim."

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

Today's lesson for the lustful man is called Do As the Ladies Do. Part One: The Look. If you spot someone who's super-hot, don't stare. Look away and watch her using your peripheral vision only. You'll find peripheral vision exercises on page 47 of my new book: How to survive and thrive in the #Metoo era. It's the latest in my best-selling Randy's MANuals series. Available in bookstores and mancaves near you.

Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the worst. Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.

How to exaggerate your height

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'