Self-gifter Pillows

That's what I hate about sole proprietorship. On Boss's Day, nobody gives me a gift.

"I love holiday gift shopping."

"No single, childless adult with very little family and only one friend can possibly get that many Christmas gifts."

"I took the liberty of buying myself a Father's Day gift."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

How the gift registry should really work

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

Bagel problems.

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."