Sustainable Gifter Pillows

Wife recycles gift of tie to husband.

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

The Authentic Christmas.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

How the gift registry should really work

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

That's what I hate about sole proprietorship. On Boss's Day, nobody gives me a gift.

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Christmas is almost here! Remember, it's the greatest happiness to give. And I want all of you to be very happy this year."

'Gee, thanks pal."

Stuffed.

She always gave such earnest presents

'Oh, that reminds me. And the polar ice caps: I want them to stop melting.'

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

Christmas postie!

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

An Organic Christmas

While Santa's Hybrid Sled has made environmentalists and animal rights activists happy, there isn't much room left for toys.

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

The Tramp of Human Rights

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

Re-Gifting/Recycling

"I took the liberty of buying myself a Father's Day gift."

"Good Grief! He thinks he is Santa Claus!"

"I'll be annoyed if you spend too much on much Christmas present!!"

"No single, childless adult with very little family and only one friend can possibly get that many Christmas gifts."

"I wanted a solar panel not a polar flannel."

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift." (Colour)

"Congratulations - By choosing to shop online you are putting hundreds of retail jobs at risk and helping to turn your local high street into an economic wasteland!"