Sustainable Gifter Pillows

Wife recycles gift of tie to husband.

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

The Authentic Christmas.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

How the gift registry should really work

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

That's what I hate about sole proprietorship. On Boss's Day, nobody gives me a gift.

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Christmas is almost here! Remember, it's the greatest happiness to give. And I want all of you to be very happy this year."

She always gave such earnest presents

'Gee, thanks pal."

Stuffed.

'Oh, that reminds me. And the polar ice caps: I want them to stop melting.'

I THINK when OXFAM suggested you buy a goat for Xmas...They meant for the third world!

Christmas postie!

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

While Santa's Hybrid Sled has made environmentalists and animal rights activists happy, there isn't much room left for toys.

An Organic Christmas

I want to buy green. I've got a checklist. Ok. Are they grown without pesticides? Yes. Trees. From local farms? Yes. And raised free-range? I believe that's your Christmas dinner.

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

The Tramp of Human Rights

Re-Gifting/Recycling

"I took the liberty of buying myself a Father's Day gift."

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"Good Grief! He thinks he is Santa Claus!"

"No single, childless adult with very little family and only one friend can possibly get that many Christmas gifts."

Some online retailers are offering to exchange any gift after Christmas. We don't need to match that to keep market share. Our business model is entirely different that theirs. Meanwhile, at the mall. Halloween has come and gone ... Thanksgiving went too soon ... so now I hum a Christmas tune ... that's played in stores since June!

"We spent a fortune on those gifts, and they couldn't even get us a card!"

"I'll be annoyed if you spend too much on much Christmas present!!"

"I wanted a solar panel not a polar flannel."

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift." (Colour)