Strict Gifter Pillows

"'Good' is not enough."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

How the gift registry should really work

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

Santa's Out Tray.

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."