Romantic Gifter Pillows

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Say it with Pierogies"

How the gift registry should really work

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Bagel problems.

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'I couldn't afford flowers, but I got a really good deal on Kenny G.'

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"Oh no! It's an ear! Didn't Vincent get the list?"

Sweet potatoes...

"Christmas is almost here! Remember, it's the greatest happiness to give. And I want all of you to be very happy this year."

Make Your Own

Last-Minute Gifts

'Gee, thanks pal."

Stuffed.

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

Say it with cacti

The wedding-day - first anniversary.

Christmas postie!

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

'Now surprise me-who'll be getting the MOST prezzies this year??'

"Do you offer a buyer protection plan?"

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"

The Tramp of Human Rights

"Wow! Something to roll in! Thanks!!!"

"I've brought you a plant to keep you company."