Self-deprecation Pillows

T-Shirt Reads 'I'm With Me'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Window Treatment

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Can't even hold signs well.

So You've Cloned Yourself

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

"God help us, it's that guy."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"You'll get over him."

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

Al, I hear that only one out of 100 art school graduates goes on to make a living in art. That's where I was smart, Axel: I flunked out!

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

Man with Sword in Penholder

'I decided I need something to draw the eye away from my bald patch.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

Inner calm.

'Our family is so ugly, we keep the negatives instead of the pictures in the photo album!'

Bad Scalp Day

"Relax. I told you we still look great in our bathing suits."