Seinfeld Aficionado Gifts

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Kritik's Korner

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Applause

Love is when you watch television together.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Canadian film production

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Movies vs. Films

100 best beheadings

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'