Seeking A Vacation Gifts

'I'm afraid we can't let you have any holidays but I can turn the heating up if that will help.'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Tourists

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Easter Island legs

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Airlines

"First class, or with children?"

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Working Holiday

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Hiding the electronics.

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Tourists in Egypt

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

Travelling

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'