Going On Vacation Gifts

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

"Wait a minute - I know there's something we've forgotten to worry about."

Sunblock - A Novel

Caribbean Airport Security

'Right I'm off on my hols...I've left the numbers for the airline and the hotel and you've got my mobile, the back-up mobile, my wife's mobile and I'll be checking my e-mails daily!'

Thanks for house sitting!

'We're all going on a summer holiday.'

'In France, smell both cheeks'

The mint on the pillow? Why it's complimentary my dear, Watson!

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

Holiday Luggage

'Hurry...here comes a tourist!'

'For heaven's sake, Charlotte! Relax! We're on holiday!'

"Before you leave for your vacation, re-record your extended leave message. The one you just made is too giddy."

'Did you remember to stop our news feeds while we're away?'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Sun Umbrella

Hotel checkout.

"Well, the forecast shows a heat wave in our first week, heavy rains in the second, some hail the following week, and a snowstorm at our final destination."

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

With their vacation in Hawaii coming up, Carol was taking no chances on someone getting sick.

'I booked a room with a view.' - 'No, you didn't.' - 'Yes, I did.' - 'No, you didn't.' - 'Yes, I did!!' - 'Too late. I double clicked.'

'Something right by a washroom if you have it.'

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'When I said relax, I meant loosen your tie or something.'

'That ought to keep the neighbors from sneaking in and using the pool while we're away!'

Trouble parking in Brighton

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Hello, I'm Mike McBride of News Thirteen vacation for Harry Short."

Welcome to Australia. This may help you enjoy your stay.

'You go and take stacks of photos. I'm going to read and I'll look at them when we get back to England.'