Going On Vacation Gifts

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

"Wait a minute - I know there's something we've forgotten to worry about."

Sunblock - A Novel

Caribbean Airport Security

'Right I'm off on my hols...I've left the numbers for the airline and the hotel and you've got my mobile, the back-up mobile, my wife's mobile and I'll be checking my e-mails daily!'

Thanks for house sitting!

'We're all going on a summer holiday.'

'Hurry...here comes a tourist!'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'In France, smell both cheeks'

Holiday Luggage

"Before you leave for your vacation, re-record your extended leave message. The one you just made is too giddy."

'Did you remember to stop our news feeds while we're away?'

'For heaven's sake, Charlotte! Relax! We're on holiday!'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'When I said relax, I meant loosen your tie or something.'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

'Something right by a washroom if you have it.'

'I booked a room with a view.' - 'No, you didn't.' - 'Yes, I did.' - 'No, you didn't.' - 'Yes, I did!!' - 'Too late. I double clicked.'

"Well, the forecast shows a heat wave in our first week, heavy rains in the second, some hail the following week, and a snowstorm at our final destination."

Sun Umbrella

'And how's the weather there?'

Welcome to Australia. This may help you enjoy your stay.

'You go and take stacks of photos. I'm going to read and I'll look at them when we get back to England.'

"Hello, I'm Mike McBride of News Thirteen vacation for Harry Short."

"Remember to leave room for an extraordinarily heavy book you won't read."

'That ought to keep the neighbors from sneaking in and using the pool while we're away!'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

Trouble parking in Brighton

Hawaii's famous,'Banzai Pipeline'.