Going On Holiday Gifts

Cause and Effect.

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

"I can't remember if they turned me off or not"

"Did you remember to unplug the car?"

Fake News: Dear Mam and Dad....Lovely and sunny here, must dash all pubs giving free beer....

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

"There's food in the freezer, I'm off with mum to Spain for a fortnight."

'I actually don't mind it when my Masters go away: The neighbour's kids look after me, it's fun!'

'Bob! I lost a contact while grabbing our bag!'

Don't worry, have a nice holiday, I'll cover for you: One cockadoodledoo at sunrise, any idiot can do that!

Shops Shops Shops - 'I've just remembered! We came here to catch a flight!'

'I reckon she's gonna miss you when you're on holiday next week!'

'I'm taking the laptop so that all my internet friends can come on holiday with me.'

Excess Baggage: Sometimes, your plane ticket is the least expensive part of the trip.

Carefree luggage.

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Airlines

Airport Security.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

'How very Cumbria.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Now here's a place I like!'

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

Airplane Mode.

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'See you in two weeks!'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Segregated Beach

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'